As I said I would, I’ve been laying out the ground work for my vlogs, which I will begin posting this December 2015.
I didn’t anticipate it, but getting in front of my camera and talking about my opinions actually shook my nerves. I began to worry about what I wanted to say and how people would understand me, what they might think of the way I spoke, the way I looked and moved or how stupid I might actually sound.
Left unchecked, these feelings stowed away under the surface of my skin leaving the distinct taste of self doubt on my tongue. This is probably one of the underlying reasons why I turned my Instagram off for a few days.
But then I did my thing where I talk to myself in the mirror and practice my confidence-boosting rituals, which involves reminding myself of what I value and believe. Even the most secure people can have moments of weakness.
In attempting to do something new (Vlogging), I experienced fear and a little trepidation. I wondered how well I could do it and worried that I might fail. I let myself get worked up before I tried, and in doing so, I almost quit before I began.
That’s what self doubt does to a person.
But I didn’t let it win.
Instead, I reminded myself of the things that help me to value and believe in myself.
Even though I worry that some people will not like me, I have to remember that what I think of me is the final word.
I used to wait for others to give me their approval. I learned that I deserve my own approval, first and foremost.
The fear and anxiety I built up was all in my head. Everything I did and experienced was a result of that. The only person really getting at me was the antagonist in my own mind.
The thoughts I had had power over me. Thoughts have the power to strengthen you or break you.
In my journey of self-discovery, I learned that WHO I am is more about who I BELIEVE I am. Therefore, I will only stink at vlogging if I believe so. But, who says there is a right way to vlog?
There is no “one way” for how you should be or how you can do things. There is no standard that will ever match who I am.
Again, no box will ever be a right fit. True beauty lies in imperfections and uniqueness. That’s why perfect, synthetic diamonds still aren’t worth as much as the nearly perfect, natural ones.
In the end, I just have to let my unique combination of traits shine and hope that my message will reach those who need it most.
Self doubt and self esteem have everything to do with what you believe about yourself. So believe in yourself.