It’s 2018 and we’re all looking to make changes that bring us closer to our goals and true happiness, whatever that may be to each of us. In making changes for the better, we find ourselves having to drop a few old things, like habits and bad company, in order to pick up something better. After all, you can’t keep doing the same old things and expect different results.
When it comes to decluttering your life and making room for better energy to flow, it might be the right time to start removing yourself from the few people in your life that could be bringing you down. And I’m not talking about anyone specific here, but there are a few, distinct “personality types” that can actually have a detrimental effect on your future success and happiness.
Here is a list of just 6 types of people you should avoid if you want to lead a rich and happy life.
1. The Perpetual Complainer
The perpetual complainer is someone who always has something to complain about. When it’s summer, it’s too hot. When it’s winter, it’s too cold. If you wear a nice shirt, it doesn’t match your pants. If you wear nice pants, it makes your ass look flat. They could have had a good day but that cab driver spoke too much, their salad was missing a crouton and their water wasn’t perfectly tasteless.
Often mistaken as a perfectionist, these people are just addicted to misery. They can’t just be content and they always find something new to complain about.
Being around someone like this will drive you crazy, especially when you care about their happiness. These people often know that they can get other people to go out on a limb to get their complainer to shut the f*#& up and be happy; so, they complain. They want the attention and your effort and they will suck your soul dry if you let them.
With people like this, you just gotta ignore their complaints. It’s a toxic distraction from being grateful, and being grateful is important for the brain and productivity. You can’t make the most of what you can’t see the best in, and complainers often don’t see the best in anything.
Avoid this kind of company so that their crappy attitudes don’t rub off on you, making you a perpetual complainer, too.
2. The Doomsday Announcer
Much like the perpetual complainer, the Doomsday Announcer is someone who makes everything feel like the end of the world.
Encountered a new problem? Oh no, it’s the end of everything. You failed. There’s no point in salvaging anything. Just give up and die. That’s the gist of the Doomsday Announcers motif.
It should be obvious why you need to avoid someone like that. They make you feel hopeless and will sap your motivation to press on, especially when things get tough. Even though deep down, these doomsday types need strong people to stay strong for their week asses, they will steady try to break your faith and sense of purpose. Why? Because misery loves company, and they can only give what they have. Or take what they don’t.
With people like this, you just have to prove them wrong by keeping momentum and tuning them out. It’s probably always going to be the end of the world for them until they snap out of it, and even if you want to help them, some things can’t be done without a bit of self-propelled effort. Go on to prove that it isn’t the end of the world, but don’t waste your time trying to convince anyone that it isn’t. Let your actions speak for you.
3. The Problem Magnifier
This personality is the type that blows every problem out of proportion. Much like the doomsday announcers, problem magnifiers make big stinks out of everything. But they often feel that their perspectives are justified by facts.
An easy way to recognize a problem magnifier is by the title they often give themselves: “A Realist.” In my experience, it’s always the cynical, pessimistic types that call themselves realists. All they ever do is point out the negatives and call them facts. But somehow, they fail to grasp that not all facts are negative. Or they do grasp it, but the few positive facts that they do acknowledge are never enough to outweigh the negative ones.
These people are just as unbalanced as the blissfully ignorant optimist, but at the least, the optimist has a better chance at making a positive change simply because they believe more in it.
These problem magnifiers are dangerous to be around because their focus is always on “what’s wrong.” If you know a bit about how powerful humans are, you probably know that what you give your attention to will grow and become bigger. People who focus on problems only magnify them and make them worst.
This is not the same as focusing on solutions, which are what we use to solve problems. Problem magnifiers, aka realists, are good at identifying problems but often fail at finding comprehensive, realistic and synergistic solutions. That’s why they can’t be kept around all the time. They rarely contribute effectively to solid solutions and often take away from your own creative brainstorms, rather than add to it.
They might be good to call in for a quick problem analysis when you need one, but if they don’t know when to draw the line and start being solution-oriented, it’s time for them to go. Because once you know a problem, you need to focus on the solution to change it, and problem magnifiers have a hard time wrapping their minds around that.
4. The Number-One Wannabe
There are a lot of people who want to be number one at something. There’s always going to be a certain amount of competition to life; such is the way of nature. But realistic people know they can’t be #1 at everything.
Number-one wannabes, on the other hand, just don’t get it. They want to be the best at it all and they want it now. They demand it, but they hardly work for it. Maybe it’s their parents’ fault for raising them as brats, maybe it’s their teachers for giving them trophies for effort rather than winning. But they are a great burden on society. Seriously.
Number-one wannabes are dangerous people to be around. They are often mediocre when it comes to that thing they say they’re the best at, and deep down, they know it. But they will do anything to dupe others into believing it, including lie, scam and steal.
These people like to take credit for the work of others. They will steal your answers and present them as their own and even go well out of their way to make you look bad in hopes that it will make them look better in comparison.
In essence, these are the types who sabotage others in the most depraved ways. Their favorite songs are ones that bellow sentiments like “straight to the top” and “we the best,” and they sing along with gusto hoping that will make it true – which is about all the effort they actually make to refine their lacking talent.
The worst part about them is that they will never let the people around them shine, and sometimes when you try to move away from them, they might follow you just to make sure you don’t get ahead of them. Which is a shame, because they often target the truly talented.
In fact, they love to leech off talented people while they beat these talents down into thinking they aren’t that talented. This helps to keep talented people available for use at the fingertips of the Wannabe so they can continue their twisted game of charades, where they try to “fake it ’til they make it.”
It’s best to just stay away from anyone who doesn’t believe that they have to grind and work hard to make themselves in life. You don’t wanna end up lying around dreaming like the Wannabes do.
5. The Decision Avoider
Passive and a little less negative than the previous personality types, the Decision Avoiders are the types that are allergic to commitment and can never go anywhere in life as a result. We often identify them as “those who fear commitments,” but in reality, they are trying to avoid much more than that.
These are the types who fear responsibility on all levels. They don’t want to be responsible for their choices, actions or the ensuing results, and by avoiding decisions, they feel they can avoid being held responsible for these. They are also quick to blame others, since they are never the one to make the choices in the first place, and so quite often they also play the “victim role.” Because, you know, everything that happens to them is someone else’s decision.
These people need to be avoided because they use others as crutches for their own bad habits and tendencies. They always expect everyone to make decisions with them in mind, like their habits, successes and failures are everyone else’s responsibility. And they will riddle you with blame when your choices don’t work out for them, which can totally mess with your psyche and personal clarity.
Plus, avoiding these kinds of people isn’t only good for you, but it’s good for them, too. This is because they are weak and will never learn to be strong as long as they have people they can leech off of. Stepping away from those relationships gives them the opportunity to make their own choices and changes, hopefully realizing that there is something very empowering about making your own choices and taking responsibility for yourself.
6. Shit-Talkers and Rumor Weeds
The reasons for staying away from this type of person is obvious. People who talk shit and spread rumors can’t be trusted to tell the truth, first of all. They are more eager to share what they’ve heard than they are to vet out what’s true or not, so, while they seem to have all the info, they don’t care to separate truth from lies. They’re just happy to focus on anyone else’s life but their own.
But it doesn’t end there. Shit talkers and rumor weeds are no one’s friend. If they’re talking to you about Sandy, then their probably talking to Sandy about you. These character types live for the drama they watch unfold in the lives of others, and when they spread rumors back and forth, they get to then sit back and watch the shit show. The only way to avoid the drama is to avoid them altogether. No matter how much they claim to be your friend.
Staying away from drama is important when you’re trying to build relationships, careers or simply stability in your life. Again, some people are truly so empty and bored that they need to find ways to ruin things for others. Maybe they can’t help it, but you can’t help them as long as you’re in the storm with them. So, if you know someone like that, the best thing to do is keep to yourself. Don’t share important plans or sensitive information that can give them room to sabotage you and sell you out.
More importantly, don’t go picking arguments with these types either. They will spread lies and rumors making you look like the bad guy, and they will do it before you have a chance to defend yourself. So, if possible, *politely* excuse yourself from that situation and move on to better things.
And a bonus tip…
I know the article says I would talk about six personality types to stay away from, but while writing this, a seventh type occurred to me that was way too important to leave out.
They are the ungrateful types.
Ungrateful people are often any one of the six types mentioned in this list. They are people who don’t just forget to say thanks, they are not grateful. They often treat people like the world owes them something, and are quicker to demand things than to say please and thank you. They are not good at making the best out of any situation and will treat your time like it isn’t valuable at all.
It doesn’t need to be said why you should avoid an ungrateful person.
So, there you have it folks. If you’re looking to get a fresh start this new year – or any time of year – it’s always a good idea to clear your closet of that which does not work for you. In this case, I’m talking about toxic friendships and relationships that could be bringing you down.
More than being about self-preservation, it’s about healthy relationships. And relationships can mean anything. Business contacts, siblings, friends, parents, kids, spouses, dating, etc. There are many types of relationships that can totally be hampered with the wrong personal qualities and character types.
So, choose your relationships wisely.